Is your child’s diet better than yours?

My three-year-old has eaten spinach pasta, carrots for breakfast and seeded sourdough this week. Sounds impressive – until you realise the spinach was blitzed into pesto, the carrots were hidden in porridge, and the sourdough was slathered in butter and jam.

As both a dietitian and a parent, there’s an unspoken pressure to feed your child as though you’re raising a little monk: no sugar, no fast food and certainly nothing beige. While I genuinely believe that foods containing free sugars with no nutritional benefit, like sweets, should be limited in the early years, that doesn’t mean I abide by this rule religiously.

The irony is, I often spend more time worrying about what goes into his mouth than my own. There have been many times I’ve fed him a nutritious balanced breakfast while I settle for a coffee and his crumbs. If parenting has taught me anything, it’s this: we’ll go to great lengths to make sure our kids are eating well, while forgetting our own plates in the process.

So, is my toddler's diet better than mine? It depends on how you define “better.”

What is ‘better’ anyway?

Let’s be honest, “better” can mean different things depending on whether you’re scrolling Instagram or talking to a dietitian. Is a child’s diet better because it’s organic? Sugar-free? Packaged in eco-friendly, beige-toned pouches?

A toddler’s diet should support growth and brain development, with carbohydrates for energy, protein for muscles, fats for the brain, and fruit and veg for vitamins and fibre. NHS guidelines recommend children aged 1-4 years eat a varied diet from the four main food groups: starchy foods, fruits and vegetables, protein foods (meat, fish, eggs, beans, tofu) and dairy or alternatives. It’s not about being perfect, it’s about being consistent over time. A good diet isn’t measured by one meal or even one week. It’s a pattern, not a snapshot.

And those baby-specific snacks? They can be a real lifesaver when you’re out and about and haven’t had time to prep anything. But they aren’t essential. Many are ultra-processed and fall short on nutrients like iron, vitamin C or fibre, despite the health claims. Use them as occasional convenience, not a backbone of your child’s diet.

Are you an ‘almond mom’?

The term “almond mom” shot to fame on TikTok, referring to parents (usually mums) who are hyper-controlling of their kids’ diets with food rules galore and constant portion policing.

I get it, we all want our kids to eat well, flourish and thrive. But when we micromanage every bite, we risk doing more harm than good.

Multiple studies show that overly restrictive feeding practices can increase a child’s desire for sugary or high-fat foods, and lead to disordered eating patterns later in life.

Instead of control, we need to offer structure. You decide what and when food is served; they decide how much they eat. That’s the foundation of Ellyn Satter’s “Division of Responsibility” approach, a gold standard in feeding kids that promotes trust, autonomy and less stress at mealtimes.

I often have to remind myself, my job as a parent isn’t to raise a perfect eater, it’s to create a healthy relationship with food.

How to feed your child and yourself realistically – tips from a nutritionist

Here’s what works in my house and what I recommend to clients who are just trying to keep the peace at the dinner table:

1. Eat the same meal, with some tweaks

Serve one family meal, with minor adjustments if needed. I often deconstruct my son’s plate: chicken on the side, sauce separate, while we adults get the full version. It saves time and models good eating habits.

2. Expect fussy phases

Most toddlers hit a picky stage around 18 months to 3 years, it’s developmentally normal. They’re learning to assert independence, and saying “no” to peas is part of that. Keep offering, without pressure and try to avoid using desserts or sweet foods as a form of reward for eating something.

3. Don’t ban foods, build balance

There’s no need to label foods as “good” or “bad.” Banning every treat can backfire, kids learn to associate those foods with excitement and secrecy. Instead, include them occasionally, without making a big deal out of it.

Another helpful approach is to shift your perspective on food. Discuss the positive ways that different foods support their body and overall wellbeing. Examples could include: carrots help you see in the dark. Milk helps your bones grow strong; rice gives us energy. Ice cream is a fun food we have sometimes. This helps kids build a healthy relationship with food, not shame around it.

There’s no reason to villainise treats like chocolate or crisps, but there are certain foods that aren’t appropriate for young children. These include:

• Whole nuts – choking risk under 5 years old (use ground nuts or nut butters instead)
• Added salt – their kidneys can’t handle much, so choose reduced salt stock cubes. Watch out for gravy and processed meats like ham and bacon.
• Sugar-sweetened drinks – like squash, fizzy drinks and slushies – these often pack more sugar than a can of cola.
• Caffeinated drinks – tea, coffee, energy drinks…

4. Plate up for yourself too, and eat together when you can

You might not be accustomed to dining as early as 5 or 6pm, I know I wasn’t. But sharing a meal together truly makes a difference. Prepare your own plate at the same time as theirs. Research shows that regular family meals are linked to better nutrition and lower rates of obesity in children. Sitting down together not only provides nourishment but also sets a positive example and encourages healthy eating habits. Even 10 minutes makes a difference.

5. Keep veggies in the rotation, hidden or not

Yes, I hide as many veggies as I can in the pasta sauce. No shame in that. But I also serve visible veg alongside. Familiarity breeds acceptance, and eventually curiosity.

6. Don’t stress about organic

It’s a nice-to-have, not a must-have. Prioritise variety and whole foods over labels.

7. Here’s what a balanced diet really means

A balanced plate = half fruit/veg, a quarter wholegrain carbs, a quarter protein, plus healthy fats and a calcium source. Toddlers need energy-dense meals in small portions, full-fat dairy and snacks are fine.

So who eats best?

So, is my toddler’s diet better than mine? Maybe on paper, he eats less salt and sugar, and definitely fewer takeaways. But real life isn’t measured in macros.

What matters more is eating together, sharing meals, and building habits without stress, and showing that all foods can fit. It’s not about perfection, it’s about balance, consistency and kindness – to them and to ourselves.

Further reading…

A balanced diet for toddlers
What to feed teenagers
Back to school recipes and advice
Top 10 healthy meals for kids
Feeding small children : a dietitian answers your questions

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